THE DREADFUL DRAMATIC DIALOGUE AND ACTION DELETED FROM “A HARD DAY’S NIGHT,” which ended up on the cutting room floor. Part Seven, the ending.

Today brings Part 7, which closes out the final deleted but curious scenes removed from the motion picture, “A Hard Day’s Night” as I reveal the last bits and pieces how the film’s screenplay originally proposed to showcase the Beatles in their first movie. So, without further ado, let’s unveil the final sections considered much too awful for any viewing audience, and please remember, all rejected portions show in [Bold Font.]

[(Here and now, Ringo walks along a quiet, almost deserted street taking photographs when two young girls in bubbly conversation stroll on the same sidewalk toward the famous drummer. As the girls pass by, they glance around and realize it’s Ringo. Quickly they turn about and follow their idol. Aware the young fans spot him, and mindful the girls are picking up their pace, Ringo runs ahead of them widening the distance as a policeman watches the whole event in the background. At the end of the block, our pop star dashes around the first corner for cover. There on the next street, he sees a second-hand clothing shop with a large sign saying, “We Buy Anything” so, he enters the building just in time before the pursuing female fans come around the corner. Confused, the girls stand about looking in all directions, but no one appears up and down the lane. After a moment, Ringo exits the shop wearing a long mackintosh, and a natty cap pulled way down over his eyes. He is ignored by the girls and feels extremely pleased they don’t recognize him. For fun, he goes back and ogles one of them, but she only glares at him with a gesture to get lost.]

(To make sure his disguise is well suited, Ringo actually approaches another young lady prepared to connect with small conversation, but not having it, the misunderstood female puts an end to the encounter saying,) Girl: “Get out of here, Shorty.” (Ringo happily obliges and scoots further down the street.)

Next Scene, Exterior – Pathway along a calm canal – (While on a casual walk minding his own business, a lorry tire comes rolling from behind and sends Ringo sprawling to the ground.)

Boy: (Running up to Ringo) “Here, mate, that’s my hoop, stop playing with it.”

Ringo: “Hoop! This isn’t a hoop; it’s a lethal weapon. Have you got a license for it?”

Boy: “Oh, don’t be so stroppy.”

Ringo: “Well, a boy your age bowling hoops at people. How old are you anyway?”

Boy: (Aggressively) [“Nine.”] “Eleven.”

Ringo: “I bet you're only [“Eight-and- a-half.”] ten-and-a-half.”

Boy: (Countering swiftly) [“Eight-and-two-thirds.”] “Ten-and-two-thirds.”

Ringo: “Well, there you are, and don’t be rolling it at people.”

[Boy: “Go on, out of it, you’re only jealous cause you’re old.”

Ringo: “Shurrup!”

Boy: “I bet you’re–– sixteen.”

Ringo: “Fifteen-and-two-thirds.”

Boy: “Well.”

Ringo: “Alright, take your hoop and bowl.” (Ringo moves on, but the boy follows.)

Boy: “Oh, you can have it. I’m packing it in––it depresses me.

Ringo: “Y’what?”

Boy: “You heard, it gets on me wick.”

Note to the reader: Because of minimal dialogue throughout Ringo’s outside wandering, the movie stays true to script until we find Grandfather escorted by bobbies through the door of the police station, where Ringo sits off to the side.

Sargent: (to policemen) “Get Lloyd George over there with that mechanic in the cloth cap while I sort this lot out.”

Policeman: (to Grandfather) “Sit down over here.” (The policemen hurtle Grandfather firmly but gently over to the bench on which Ringo is sitting and then return to the desk for a whispered conference with the Sargent. Meanwhile in full conspiratorial fashion, Grandfather talks to Ringo out of the side of his mouth.)

Grandfather: “Ringo, me old scout, they grabbed your leg for the iron too, did they?”

Ringo: “Well, I’m not exactly a voluntary patient.”

Grandfather: “Shush! Have they roughed you up yet?”

Ringo: “What?”

[Grandfather: (whispering) “Keep your voice down, this lot’ll paste you, just for the exercise.] “Oh, they’re a desperate crew of drippings, and they’ve fists like matured hams for pounding defenseless lads like you.”

Sargent: “So, that’s it, eh?”

[Ringo: (disturbed) “Have they?”

Grandfather: “That Sargent’s a body blow veteran if I ever measured one.”] “one of us has got to escape, I’ll get the Boys. Hold on son; I’ll be back for you.”

Ringo: (horrified) “Me!”

Grandfather: “And if they get you on the floor, watch out for your brisket.”

Ringo: (hopeful) “Oh, they seem alright to me.”

Grandfather: “that’s what they want you to think. All coppers are villains.”

Sargent: would you two like a cup of tea?”

Grandfather: ‘You see, sly villains.”

Ringo: “No thanks, Sargent, please sir, don’t.

Sargent (to policemen) “So, you just brought the old chap out of the crowd for his own good.”

[Policeman: “Yeah, but he insisted on us bringing him to the station.”] “Well, he was getting a bit nasty, you see, so we had to bring him.”

Sargent: “Well, he can’t stop here. This is the stuff he’s been hawking round, is it?’

[(Shot of Grandfather watching policemen intently and muttering words.)

Policeman: “Yes, Sargent, photographs.”

Sargent: “Photographs.”

Ringo: (to Grandfather) “What are you doing?”

Grandfather: “Lip reading.”

Ringo: “What are they saying?”

Grandfather: “Nothing good.” (The policemen make a move toward Grandfather and Ringo) “Well son, it’s now or never.” (Grandfather jumps to his feet and scurries towards the exit.) “Alright, you paid assassins, Johnny McCartney will give you a run for your threepence ha’penny.”

Policeman: “Hey, you forgot your photographs.”

[Sargent: “Now, what’s he up to?”

Ringo: “He’s allergic to bobbies, especially English bobbies.”

Policeman: (Returns with the photos and speaks with an Irish accent.) “Your man disappeared like a leveret over a hill.”

Ringo: “Turncoat!” (The policemen turn on Ringo and walk towards him.) “Mother!”

[Exterior shot, Street - (Grandfather is breathing heavily, running at top speed down the street as if pursued by the hounds of hell. However, the street is empty, not a soul in sight. As Grandfather reaches the end of the street, he pauses and turns, looking around. Still seeing no one, he exhales a huge sigh of relief, but his triumph is short-lived. Suddenly, a parade of police vehicles, a Black Maria, an escorting motorbike police patrol group, and a squad car barrels toward him and stops within very close proximity to Sr. McCartney. Officers dismount their bikes, and others exit the motor cars. Grandfather is horrified.)

Grandfather: “Be God, they’ve called up reinforcements, the dragnet’s out!”

(He dashes off wildly in the general direction of the theater. He has been completely unnoticed by the many policemen who are lining up for a last-minute inspection by the inspector in charge. They smartly march off in the same direction as Grandfather.)]

Exterior Shot, Backstage door – (With the help of three youngsters, grandfather slips through the guard and lets everyone know the police have Ringo. The three Boys scamper down quick to the station, cause a minor ruckus and the song ‘Can’t Buy Me Love’ begins the chase scene.)

Interior Shot, Backstage – Norm: Lads, your back. Thank goodness! Where’s Ringo?”

Paul: “There he is, we got him. And another thing, where’s that old mixer?”

Grandfather: “Here, Pauly.”

Paul: “Well, I’ve got a few things to say to you, two-faced John McCartney.”

John: “Aw, leave him alone, Paul. [“He’s back isn’t he, and it’s not his fault he’s old.”

Paul: “(angered) “What’s old got to do with it?”

John: “You needn’t bother.”

Paul: “Ywhat?”

John: “Practicing to be thick-headed, you’re there already.”]

Paul: “Look, he’s a mixer and a trouble maker.”

John: “That’s right. But he’s only asking us to pay attention to him, aren’t you?”]

John: “You see, Grandad, you know your trouble––you should have gone West to America. You would have wound up a senior citizen of Boston. As it is, you took a wrong turn and what happened? You’re a lonely old man from Liverpool.”

Grandfather: “But I’m clean.”

John: “Are you?”

[(The Boys giggle and slap the old man on the back.)]

Interior Shot, Center Stage – (The show begins, and the Beatles perform, ‘Tell Me Why,' ‘If I Feel,' ‘I Should Have Known Better,' and ‘She Loves You’ in front of a frenzy and excited group of young fans.)

Interior Shot, Back Stage – (Norm is waiting for the Boys with bags and luggage.) “The office was on the phone; they think it would be better if we pushed straight to Wolverhampton.”

John: “Tonight? We can’t make it.”

Norm: “You’ve got a midnight matinee.”

John: “Now look here, Norm.”

Norm: No, you look here, John. I’ve only got one thing to say to you, John Lennon.”

John: “What?”

Norm: “You’re a swine.” [“So hurry up, we’re traveling.”]

(Song, ‘A Hard Day’s Night’ starts. Norm and the Boys run out the door headed for a waiting helicopter.) [(Paul, looking behind seems worried.) “Where’s me Grandfather?”

Norm: “Don’t start, look.” (The Boys look inside the passenger bay and see Grandfather handcuffed to Shake clutching his pile of photographs.)

[The Boys altogether shout: “Get rid of those things.”]

(The Final shot shows the helicopter lift and suddenly a shower of photographs’ drop from the window.) [The camera zooms in on one single photograph lying on the ground, and just like that, the closing credits begin to roll over it.]

Next for your enjoyment, I plan to reveal the incredible recording process that captured the most inventive, imaginative, and trend-setting LP of all time. Yes, Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, on loving behalf of its 50^th Anniversary six-disc Super Deluxe Edition, available the end of this month. Each day I will share the tedious drudgery of two songs in the order they appear on the album during those 129 days of grueling trial and error that achieved this masterpiece. Join me for a wild time inside Abbey Road Studio.

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