An excerpt from my novel BEATLEMANIAC.

Once inside the truck, Pete asked, “What’s that smell?” 

     “I got us each a Burger King hot apple turnover.”

     “Thanks, Dave.”

     “Welcome; buckle up and off we go.”

     Backing out of Pete’s driveway, honky-tonk piano sounds poured its ka plunks from the stereo speakers. “What the heck?” 

     “This is the Beatles White Album CD.”

     “I never heard that song before.”

     “Don’t you like the Beatles?”  

     “Sure, they were okay; I have their greatest hits Number 1. So Paul sings a song about a girl named Martha? I remember the song Michelle, but never Martha.”

     Dave laughed and offered a tweak to his mistaken identity. “Martha was Paul’s sheepdog. A cute little tune that has some pretty cord changes then takes off with a snappy feel of a German oompah band.”

     Pete listened as he enjoyed the turnover, impressed Dave knew the words to sing along with McCartney. “Not bad. I admit Paul reigns as   the greatest songwriter of the 20^th Century.”

     “I agree,” said Dave. “Now this is John’s song titled, I’m So Tired.”

     “Ah, some blues, now you’re talking.” Dave, yet again, sang the words. Pete tapped his foot to the driving beat and let his next week’s workload drift away. “Wait, wait. Did you catch that gibberish? What was it?” 

     “That was John saying, ‘Paul is dead, man. Miss him, miss him, miss him.’”

     “You figured that out from nonsense dribble?”  

     “No, Pete, you have to listen to the dribble backwards, but it’s clear that’s what he says.”

     “Why would John do that?” 

     “Ever hear the secret rumor Paul McCartney died and was replaced by a sound-alike fellow named William Shears Campbell who had plastic surgery to resemble the famous bass player as a way of keeping the group on top?”

      “No.”

     “It all started with a disc jockey given a heads-up tip by a mysterious caller who told him the Beatles had lost Paul in a car accident and all types of clues on their album covers and lyrics would one day reveal the truth. For example, in the song called, Got to Get You into My Life, Paul sings how he took a ride and didn’t know what he would find, a different road where maybe he could grasp another kind of mind. Does he sing another kind of mind as in life after death? A song called, Eleanor Rigby talks about death and no one was saved.”

     Pete interrupted, “I have that song, with Father McKenzie wiping his hands walking away from Eleanor’s grave.”

     “That’s the one. The song called, She Said She Said, the lyrics say ‘She knows what dead feels like.’ In the song, Here, There and Everywhere, Paul sings how love never dies, but in the song called, For No One, Paul changes his mind and we hear him sing about love is dead. Another song titled, I’m Only Sleeping, is similar. In the Bible, the Apostle Paul talks about those asleep, but he refers to sleep as in dead. Even Jesus told his disciples Lazarus sleeps, but to clarify His point, He says Lazarus is dead. George Harrison wrote a song called, Love You To. Some of his lyrics speak about a dead old man because a life is so short, and later he sings about people who’ll screw you in the ground. Tomorrow Never Knows by John sings about things not dying, but later he wonders if ignorance and hate may mourn the dead. Never from the time the Beatles first appeared on music albums were so many tunes sung about death. And all those songs appear on one CD.” Dave lowered the music. “Revolver.”

      “As in handgun?” said Pete.

     “Not quite, more as in circular rotation, the way an album spins on a turntable. On their next release, in the song, A Day in the Life, John sings about a lucky man who made it, and later he sings how he blew his mind out inside a car because he didn’t notice the traffic signal changed. Here, I’ll show you the CD.”

      Within the console, he thumbed until he found Sgt. Pepper. “Notice the left-handed memorial guitar made of flowers? That promoted a clue Paul died. Only Paul played left-handed. See the hand raised above Paul’s head? A direct death sign from eastern religions. Turn the cover over; notice Paul has his back to the camera? That meant he died and the plastic surgery wasn’t finished so the new guy couldn’t show his face yet. Also, the photo puts Paul’s replacement right on top of the song called, Within You Without You. Now go ahead, remove the cover from its plastic holder, and open the sleeve. See the arm patch on Paul? The letters are O.P.D., better known has Officially Pronounced Dead. You can put the sleeve back into the holder now, but notice the song called, Fixing a Hole. Paul sings about fixing a hole and filling cracks. Many guess the hole and cracks depict the loss of a Beatle and then replaced with a look-alike, boosting the band’s ability to fix the hole or loss with this new person unbeknownst to all their fans. They didn’t want the same riots to repeat themselves like when Ringo replaced their first drummer.”

     “Holy crap, Dave, I had no idea this ever took place.”

     “There’s a lot more, if you’re interested?” 

     “Yeah, I’m all ears.”

     Dave found the CD titled, Magical Mystery Tour, and passed it to Pete. “I recognize some songs listed here.”

     “Yes, this has popular ones. Take the cover out again from its holder and turn the pages. Okay, see Paul seated, dressed as a military man?” 

     “Yeah.”

      “What does his desk plate say?” 

      ‘“I was.’. Wow, you can’t get plainer.”

      “Find John’s picture with a stupid mustache and a turtleneck sweater.”

     “I found it.”

     “The sign to his left reads, ‘the best way to go is by M & D Co.’ That’s a funeral home in London. Search for the double-spread photograph with John at the white piano and the others using standard instruments outdoors.”

      “This one, with the green leaves?”

      “Yeah, that’s it. Notice Paul has removed his shoes, and you can see bloodstains on them as they lay near Ringo’s far right cymbal stand. No shoes signify a corpse ready for an autopsy.”

     “It looks like a red ink smudge printing error, though.”

     “I agree, but every time someone reprints this photograph, the same stains reappear. Turn the pages until you find all four Beatles dressed in white tuxedos.” Dave peeked as Pete flipped the pages. “Stop, see the roses pinned on each jacket? Three have red, but Paul wears a black rose, another sign for death. Now go to the last page and once again, a hand rests straight above Paul’s head. Do you know what’s spoken on the song, Strawberry Fields Forever, near the end?” 

     “Not really,” said Pete, “but I have the song.”

     “Take the CD out and let’s listen.” Dave zipped through the song quickly, and near the second fade out, he slowed the song at normal speed. They both listened as Dave lifted the volume and mouthed the words spoken by John, ‘I buried Paul.’”

“I got it,” said Pete. “He said he buried him. I’m amazed.”

     “Let me give you the CD and put the cover back into its holder, please. Now, Pete, this whole thing got started with the White Album when you heard the backward message. On the same CD, they recorded an experimental track called, Revolution No. 9, of nothing but noises with bits and pieces of dialogue. Throughout it, you hear a man say over and over, ‘Number 9.’ If you listen to it backwards, the man says, ‘Turn me on, dead man.’” 

     “How can you listen to a CD played backwards?” 

     “You have to record the CD to a reel-to-reel tape, then turn the tape over and re-run it through the player backwards. In the track’s middle, while still played backwards, it sounds like a fire burning as Paul yells, ‘Let me out, let me out.’”

     “Geez, a slick project.”

     “Before the start of Revolution Number 9, a small insignificant ditty by Paul with guitar sings about . . . Can we take him back where he came from as if to plead bring him back to life? Unwilling to let his mates out do him, the one song Ringo gets solo credit for is, Don’t Pass Me By. His lyrics talks about how he listens for footsteps. Well, Pete, he listens but, they don’t arrive. Later he sings about his friend in a car crash.’ Can you handle more or is this getting old?” 

     “I can handle more; this stuff fascinates me.”

     Looking for new clues, Dave picked up the Yellow Submarine soundtrack from the animated movie. “Tell me what you see here, Pete?” 

     “John Lennon’s character has his hand directly above Paul’s head. Unbelievable.”

     “Trade me CDs.” Dave retrieved Yellow Submarine and handed Pete Abbey Road. “Take a look at this cover picture. John dressed in white portrays the doctor, Ringo dressed as a preacher, Paul wears a suit, and again, his bare feet represent the corpse, and George dressed in blue denim represents the gravedigger. You also see everyone starts with his left foot forward, except Paul. He marches out of step while holding a cig in his right hand, not his left. A clue his substitute was right-handed. Notice the license plate on the white VW? It says 28IF. If he lived the day they posed for this photo, August 8, 1969, he would celebrate his 28^th birthday next go around. Turn the cover over. Look at those dots to the left of the word Beatles. If you connect the dots, you write the number three, and now the CD reads Three Beatles.”

     “Good god, do you think it’s true; William replaced Paul?” 

     “No, but it was a scheme to keep the newest album highest on the charts and start an onslaught demand for their older albums scooped up by the curious. And it didn’t stop with Abbey Road. Find the Let it Be CD and gaze at the cover. Only Paul sits surrounded by a blood-red background, the others in white. Then the hit title song, Let It Be, as Paul sings how Mother Mary comforts him. His mother Mary died when he turned fourteen, and now he’s comforted because they commune together again.”

     “How do you know so much about a group who bowed out more than 40 years ago?” 

     Dave grinned. “Face it, the Beatles are timeless; even you have purchased their extraordinary music. But I guess what got me hooked was Mom. She loves the Beatles. From age five, I can remember in Hawaii, night after night, we listened to different CDs, and she told stories about their rise in show business. I was so young and because of her fondness, the Beatles fueled a father figure in my mind. You could say I inherited the anger mom had toward my dad’s stupidity. To this day, I reject everything about my father. But that’s okay; the Beatles still fill the void. One day my father got me so damn mad, I wanted nothing to do with the Beatles. At eighteen, my mom told me how an insane idiot broke into George Harrison’s home, stabbed George a few times, and tried to kill him, but George wrestled the knife away, held him till police came who later took the insane wacko to jail. I liked George, he was the youngest, and his story affected me, but afterward Mom said something to annihilate the relationship with my four heroes.”

     “What did she say, Dave?” 

     “While making sure I understood George recovered and was fine, she paused and said, ‘isn’t it sad, Davy, your father loved the Beatles more than you and I?’” Dave’s hands gripped the steering wheel with double the strength. “I felt so betrayed, so violated that a man I despised would have higher regards for the men I needed to exchange him with. Once that bomb dropped into my lap, I regressed into silence for weeks, staring out windows as hate consumed me. Then, a magical moment happened as a thought plowed right through the wall I had put myself behind. If the Beatles favor peace and love, but my father favors murder and ruin, it makes sense that the Beatles hate my father as much as I do. From that instant, my heart gained even more affection.”

     Lost for words, Pete could only nod.

     Dave scoffed, “How ironic that this weekend is Father’s Day.”

     The Beatles music continued as the men rode without a word. Pete didn’t know how to respond to the Father’s Day remark and pretended to focus his interest on the mountain scenery.

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